Adventures

A guide to enjoying your own company without a phone

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Learning to enjoy one’s company is a necessity for life’s survival.


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To be honest, I’m not only always on my phone, I’m required to be on my phone because 

  • My company team is remote

  • I manage several company accounts 

  • As a desired influencer, I have to be constantly online as I hope to build my personal brand

  • I belong to diverse cross continent communities and the only way to nurture them is by being online

  • My yoga classes are online

  • My family and loved ones

  • I work remotely and earn money from these jobs

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See why I need to be on my phone always? I can’t even lose my phone for a moment; I’ll worrying about getting another phone. And this is the more reason why our generation must learn to be offline.

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When I was growing up, Kids learned to enjoy their company before they got a phone but in this time, kids get a phone before they realise self-awareness.
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It’s a conscious decision so that when you are forced to be without your phone, you can gratefully bring yourself to enjoy your time alone with yourself or people without your phone. 

My phone detox plans are an hour a day, a month per year  and every vacation I take. 

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To learn conscious phone and especially social media detox, you need to fix the following

  •  What are my hobbies? What are the things I love doing that won’t make me miss my phone. I love to listen to folklore and classical music. I would dance to it that it would make me feel so good I’d forget my phone. I love reading fictional and magical fantasy novels. I also love writing far fetched classic poems. I love water so i enjoy swimming, learning to surf, kayak etc. I love taking walks & visiting the gym. I love sleeping or meditation sessions. I can go 5 meditation sessions at once. I love practicing yoga. I can go 1hr - 2hr stretch at once. So whenever I want to tune out, I’ll do one of these. 
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  • How much time can I truly afford to be away from my phone? Do not deceive yourself and copy someone’s stamina from being away from their phone. Competition kills spirit and consistency. When you go through that list up there, I have evaluated my schedule and I know that I can give 5am - 7am, 12noon - 2pm, 9pm - 10pm free from my phone. So whenever I create my schedules, I try to leave at least one of them free. I race out of meetings just to catch 5 mins alone with myself. It’s the only way I can recharge. So be honest with yourself and look through your schedules to find what works for you. Even if it’s only 30 mins. It’s a start. 
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  • Mental Interval checks. Be conscious to take mental checks on yourself. You may have decided to spend time with yourself but you need to remind yourself to do it. I’ve come to a place where I easily run mental checks on myself. Within each hour, I would instinctively remind myself to put my phone down and breathe. In that second, I appraise if what I’m doing is truly necessary before I continue. If I was having a needless chat or surfing the internet needlessly, I would close all the apps and get back to the most important thing or pick up a book or write a poem or take a walk or do any of my hobbies. I have a friend who couldn’t remind herself so she set a reminder 3 times a day to “put down the phone and breathe”. 
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  • Find a community and make time to connect with them. Community is the most important thing in a human’s life. I remember years ago when I connected with communities that did not truly inspire me, it reflected badly on my work so I decided to setup my own type of community. One that I connected with. I was afraid I wouldn’t find my type of people because we’re very “country people style” but I put the word out there and started hosting minimal hangouts. Either bring your own food to share or minimal cost where you pay for yourself. Now my social media looks much different than that time & I’m constantly inspired when I come online. I’m so jealous of my new found sanity that I do not risk mixing up in the wrong communities. I’ve put in so much to come this far, I can’t let it go. Find time to meet up with your community offline and always try to do new things with them. You’ll see how much you can grow together and your phone will become useless. This also means that if you’re part of a community that does not inspire you, unsubscribe. 
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  • Travel & invest in experiences: one best way to learn to love your own company is by investing in experiences. Anything that requires materialistic fulfillment can only satisfy you for as long as that material is needful or relevant. Experiences are embedded in your memory. They’re unforgettable. Especially when you have a proof of a picture. So try to travel at least once a year. If you can’t afford to travel yet, go on an experience. From school, take a day and go to the beach. Meet people and connect with nature. Or travel to the next city. Take a bus down to the end of the city and back home. Enroll for a local city tour or group experience. You’ll hardly find the time to respond to your phone but rather, take pictures with strangers. Learn so much about them and make new friends. You can even send a DM to a travel agency or tour guide and ask them to give you a free trip locally or internationally while you offer a free service by being an assistant on the tour. Most of these tours use buses and they will always have a free seat. You can even pack your own food from home to reduce costs of which I doubt they won’t want to feed you. You can also offer photography if you’re a photographer or offer to be guide in your local government or area if you know a good tourist attraction there.  
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  • Love your company. Love her/him. He/She is going to spend the rest of your life with you and even in the after life. The earlier you start loving your company, the earlier you start doing amazing things together. I purposely set my phone to go mute mode after 10pm except for my family and loved ones so no calls, texts or notifications can come in. I also avoid needless chats. If a chat does not have an immediate action, I either ignore or reply asking the person for a purpose. Chats are the quickest way to drain your time and intellectual use. Call the person or create an alternative.
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My phone use is termed into two

  • Personal Use - I use it for what I intend. I make posts, read information and stay up to date. In this time, I’m not particularly answering texts or reacting to any information. 

  • Reactive Use - this is when I decide to answer messages, or texts or interact with people online. I’ve had people question my use of social media and not responding to them. I tell them the same thing, I’ve not had time to sort through my messages. I’d reply later.  Don't let your phone control your impulses.

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Practicing to be alone with one self is in itself an improvement to allowing one more time to be alone with one self. 

Exceptions should only be for emergencies or business hours. 

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LUFASI PARK

In a bid to take time away from the busy activity of the city, I spent a day at Lufasi Park in Lagos, Nigeria to relieve my soul with an amazing friend. You pay 1000 only to get to Lufasi Park and you can totally bring your own food and picnic pack. Be careful not to go with a professional camera because you will be charged for those however my iphone was just enough. The environment is perfect and the natural light is all you need and the sky as your backdrop!

 
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Outfit Haul

Dress Shirt by Fashion Nova

Sun Glasses by HauteSignatures

Skin Hose by BrunEtNoir

Ankara Shorts by Pop Beach Club

Ankle Boots by Timberland

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Photography Credits

Images Shot by @Tobbinator

Image Edits by AfterLight & Lightroom CC Apps

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a roadtrip & the many adventures experienced in Abeokuta

beginning this year, my goal has been to learn more about my home of birth, Nigeria & immerse myself in its magic. as an African backpacker to disrupt pan-African trade & multi-cultural relations, i believe my charity begins at home. my mind was made up & this power suddenly conquered carsickness as i knew what needed to be done without fear so i contacted TVP Adventures to kick-start my national tour. 


me at the top of Olumo Rock with an achiever smile & the cosy TVP Backpakck. 

me at the top of Olumo Rock with an achiever smile & the cosy TVP Backpakck. 

armed with a bad history of motorphobia, two large bottles of water and an extra legging, i set out on a tour of Abeokuta - the largest city & state capital of Ogun State.  


The ‘adire’ market

a longtime tradition from our fore-fathers and ancestors, the "adire" (tie-and-dye) market was a fascinating discovery for me. i discovered that "adire" wrappers were not made in a factory but by a small community of hardworking locals so exceptionally dedicated to the detailing of each piece.

each piece is unique & very different from the other. it was first designed using starch made from different types of flour to create the patterns, then dried under the sun. it was then collected and tied into tiny pleats at certain lengths and dipped into a bucket of dye. after it dries, it is then ironed by wooden slabs that were manually pounded on the material to smoothen and fold it into the perfect package for sale. 

that's me, iron pounding an adire  

that's me, iron pounding an adire  

it was here i swore never to price an "adire" material at the market ever again. the craft is the main source of income to this community but it is sad that the government has demolished their markets building over it major highways and have failed to relocate the market to another piece of land. this market is said to attract thousands of tourists which has reduced drastically; more so, their source of income declines during the raining season due to the lack of sun to dry their materials.

"what will happen to this community in the future?"


Olumo Rock

a place of refuge. a place of war. a place of peace. now a place of history.  

it was told that the ‘egbas’  hid under this rock during the war in the past. it was their source of survival and a shrine that protected them from the outside world. the rock takes on the shape of a pregnant woman lying on her back on a table. how symbolic! the rock featured a sacrifice room, the kings quarters and a kitchen under the rock where his wives cooked, the tree of Doggedness & Resilience, a shrine and it’s chief priestess which is still passed down to the new generation, aged trees, a fort and a magnificent view. 

The view is everything from the top :)


The Herbert Ogunde’s living history museum

this is a fascinating story about a man who married seventeen wives who became his co-actors and traveled far and wide acting and creating plays that deftly introduced the Nollywood industry to the world.

the entrance to Herbet Ogunde's living museum home

the entrance to Herbet Ogunde's living museum home

the Ogunde’s living house museum welcomes you with a large wall post - it is a huge bungalow surrounded by a bold compound housing the magnificent statue of the late actor himself, Herbert Ogunde. one of the grandsons welcomed us who was also our host. we were told not to touch anything, no phones were allowed within and not to sit on any chair or surface in the house. the house is filled with all his equipments, cameras, a helicopter engine used for cooking up a storm for his movies, re-enacted scnes from his movies, album upon albums, his drums, all his costumes, his passport, nigerian actors who were so young back and are now veteran actors, his bed where he slept, his clothes, his family tree & so much more.

this is why i don't have much to show you but you can visit the museum sometime and be entirely amazed. this museum will teach you to value the country Nigeria and its people.

if you would love to read more about Ogunde's story, check out this beautiful narration written by my sister girl & guide, Funmi Oyatogun. Click Here.


POSE POSE POSE  

Image Credits: Rachel

Tour Guide: TVP Adventures


  HEEL CLICK! 

heel clicking is a lovely happy jump to do after a tour... so i did one with Funmi.

heel clicking is a lovely happy jump to do after a tour... so i did one with Funmi.

See you on the next adventure :) Meanwhile, have you been to Abeokuta? Did you have any fond memories or favorite places? Would love to hear it.
 if you don’t achieve anything in this world,
by all means, TRAVEL!